


Delusions

by RequiemsArrow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Delusional Reiner Braun, Depressed Reiner Braun, M/M, Manipulative Eren, POV Reiner Braun, Reiner Braun Needs a Hug, Reiner Escapes Reality with Eren, Reiner is so Interesting, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Writing entertaining believable dialogue is kinda hard, comforting eren, mostly canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29958093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RequiemsArrow/pseuds/RequiemsArrow
Summary: A mostly canon story where a delusional Reiner meets Eren in Marley, except it is months before Eren declares war on the world. Instead of turning Eren in/ attacking Eren immediately like a normal person, Reiner keeps it a secret. What kind of twisted Delusions will Reiner indulge himself in to escape his monotonous yet trauma filled life? Will he find comfort in Eren, and what is Erens goal? Why reveal himself to Reiner so early into his infiltration in Marley?
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager
Comments: 33
Kudos: 131





	1. Repetition

Repetition in life isn't inherently a bad thing. To live each and every single day routinely, with little room for deviations can bring a certain joy into certain peoples lives. Certain people can find joy in a life of relative ease and peace without worry. After all, Marley won the Mid- East war, what wasn’t there to celebrate?

For the first time in four years Marley, the nation fixated on titans and war, has finally settled down. Most Marleyans and even Eldians could relax, as the nation entered a temporary stasis of tranquility. This temporary period of peace allowed people to settle down for a while, and possibly find a tiny, miniscule fragment of happiness in their seemingly horrendous lives.

Reiner Braun was not one of those certain people.

Reiner would wake up every day at the break of dawn, yet for some reason he always felt more and more tired as the days passed. Every day, Reiner would want to remain in bed forever, but still forced his way out of his alluring bed. Every day Reiner would face the same fatigued, drained face in the mirror, yet he could never look at himself in the eyes. He can’t afford to look at himself much anymore. The blond man would rather analyze the small smudges and the thick layer of dust and grime that would accumulate on his bathroom mirror. In retrospect, Reiner's apartment was quite nice, being able to house up to 3-4 people. One of the many perks of being a warrior. However, Reiner’s apartment was absolutely filthy, with trash, dust, and grime scattered all over the apartment just like his bathroom mirror. Reiner would always put off cleaning since he never stayed in one place for long due to the war. Yet Reiner knew this was an excuse, as he has not had an assignment for weeks. Reiner knew the real reason for his horrible cleaning habits. He knew that if he cleaned out his home, it would seem more barren and lonesome than it already was. On top of being entirely unmotivated, this fear of feeling even more empty aided in his apartment's deterioration, and once again Reiner left his filthy home uncleaned.

At the core of his character, Reiner wanted to be a hero. While as a child this aspiration was a broad, tacky dream any other aspiring warrior would have, Reiner's motivation stemmed from his fear of being alone. His own father abandoned him and while he loved his mother, Reiner knew how she truly felt about him. She saw him purely as a tool. A tool for a better future for herself. Not a son. Why would she ever look at him that way. The more he thinks back on his childhood, the more Reiner realizes he never had anyone to acknowledge him, to appreciate him, to love him...

“Reiiiiiiinerrrrrrr!!!!!”

A high pitched, screeching voice rang throughout Reiner's ear, making Reiner gasp since his train of thought was suddenly disrupted. Reiner turned around having instantly recognized its origin. Gabi alongside Falco, Zofia, and Udo all began running up to him, eager for his attention. Maybe it was Falco’s bird like eyes, but how on Earth did they spot him from meters away? Even though they seemingly met up with Reiner every day at the same exact place (right in front of his home), Reiner was still met with admiration and reverence by the four promising warrior candidates like they always kept meeting him for the first time.

Undeserving admiration Reiner thought to himself, but nevertheless.

It was essentially Reiner's job to watch over the future warriors, as one of them would eventually inherit his armored titan. As Reiner watched the four children push and shove their way to get to their idol first, Reiner became lost in thought again, but this time due to Reiner studying the future warrior candidates. Falco reminded Reiner of his younger self in some ways, in not only physical appearance but because of his inherent innocence as well. He was naturally kindhearted, yet possessed the determination to maybe one day catch up to the other warrior candidates. Udo and Zofia were both excellent candidates in their own right, but never seemingly excelled at anything. However both were hard working and deserved their candidate position. Gabi was obviously the best choice to inherit the armor, due to her raw, unwavering determination and aggressive nature, Reiner knew that she would never back down in a fight. The way she would never back down was indicative of a good wall for Marley, an unbreakable will that can lead her people to freedom from oppression under Marleyan rule. Gabi once told Reiner that by inheriting the Armored titan, she will show Marley that she alongside her family and friends were “good Eldians” and not those Island Devils. As if there were walls between what defined a good Eldian from a bad one.

Walls… Island Devils… The thoughts in his head started to become cloudy at those phrases, but why? Anyways, Gabi was easily the clear candidate for the Armored titan, much to Falco’s dismay. Reiner knew Falco wanted to protect Gabi from the dark future that warriors face, but they both knew that unless Falco stole the position from Gabi himself, he could never stop her. How could he? Gabi was naturally inspiring as she led the other warriors to him. She took the lead in their sprint towards Reiner and it was not even close. She carried herself with a certain resolve that was intertwined with a certain rage, a certain fire within her soul. The way she carried herself almost reminded him of…. No. Reiner hasn’t thought of him in years, let alone any of those Island Devils. Island Devils. The more he thinks of this phrase the more pained his heart feels.

“Reiner… why are you muttering to yourself? I think I even heard you mention the word Devil?”

Reiner quickly realized that eight piercing eyes were all trained on him, and that the four children standing in front of him have probably been standing there for quite some time.

“It’s nothing. Why are you all here? Aren’t Sundays your day off?”

Reiner can already feel sweat accumulate on his brow. He coughed once, hoping they wouldn’t ponder why Reiner acted even more deranged than he normally was.

“Yeah but Gabi forced all of us to come meet you. She wants extra training for whatever stupid reason” Udo scoffed.

“Well at least I’m trying to improve you stupid nerd. Go home if you wanna whine all day” Gabi retorted. “Not surprising you can’t keep up with such a wonderful candidate like myself”.

Smug as always.

“That statement doesn't even make sense, you shit brain! ‘Stupid nerd’. I can’t believe a dumbass like you is even our top warrior candidate.” Apparently Udo was in a bad mood.

“What did you say?!?!?” Gabi screamed. Apparently she was not in the best of moods either.

For being two highly trained warrior candidates, they bickered and fought like the children they really were.

“Guys stop it!’ Falco exclaimed. He desperately tried getting between the two but he was far too passive to be remotely effective. “It’s only 9 am and you’re both being stupid”.

Wrong choice of words. Now all three were bickering and misbehaving in front of Reiner's apartment, much to his horror.

“You know... Gabi won’t admit it, but she dragged us here because she really just wanted to hang out with you today on our day off” Zofia said calmly.

Reiner almost jumped, he entirely forgot Zofia was even here. She was always too calm in any situation. He quickly sighed and proceeded to successfully split up the bickering children.

“Hey, I will follow you guys around today but you all have to start behaving,” Reiner exclaimed. He was assigned to watch over these four, but he never signed up to parent them as well.

“Alright! Lets go get something to eat!” Gabi beamed, instantly cheered up. None of the four said it outright, but Reiner can tell that they are surprised yet excited that Reiner agreed to hang out with them.

Not that Reiner had really anything else better to do, as he really didn’t. He had no hobbies or interests really. Like every other day, Reiner lived an emotionally taxing, draining existence, each day bleeding into the next. Perhaps just spending time with these four will make his repetitive life a little more worthwhile. The four proceeded to lead the way and Reiner shortly followed. As Reiner watched the four walk ahead of him towards whatever dining hall they planned on going to Reiner blinked.

In that short time the four young warriors were replaced by four others. By the time Reiner blinked again the four figures became Gabi and the others once again. Not an entirely strange occurrence, Reiner was no stranger to hallucinations every once in a while. The young warriors did remind him of himself alongside his friends. However this time Reiner's hallucinations stopped himself dead in his tracks.

In that split second Reiner saw himself, Bertholdt, Annie and… Eren.


	2. Friends

Why did Reiner see Eren in his hallucination? Usually whenever Reiner hallucinates he sees himself alongside his old warrior friends, not… him. Reiner was sure to have purged any memories of Paradis, especially those revolving around the one person that captivated him so much, the boy that could never fully leave his memory.

Reiner was great at suppressing memories, for the most part. In an attempt to rid the guilt of the numerous sins and countless murders he helped commit, Reiner had no choice but to force himself to forget. This was so effective that he essentially created a split personality, a mental scar that never quite left him. Reiner had succeeded in forgetting the names and faces of the countless civilians and fellow soldiers he helped kill, aside from a few of his closest friends.

_Friends._

How dare he use that word when thinking about them.

Yet even among the select few members of the 104th that Reiner grew quite fond of, Eren Yeager was the one that resonated with him the most. Reiner’s head started to throb as he thought why. Why was he so captivated with someone so different from him. Different? Were they really different? In some ways, the two boys were quite similar. At the time, the two possessed a strong desire to achieve their goals. They both wanted to save the world.

No. They really were different.

Eren had a legitimate reason for his never ending drive. The titans took everything from him when he was a child. More specifically, Reiner took everything from him. Eren burned with such passion that always seemed to amaze Reiner whenever he looked at him, yet that fiery rage disgusted him at the same time. Not out of spite, but envy. Seeing Eren reminded Reiner that his own passion, his own dream was an illusion. Reiner deluded himself into wanting to become a hero, he fooled himself into becoming a _Soldier_ to be liked and respected among his fellow Eldian peers. Did he ever really care for them? Or did he just want their attention. Did Reiner ever really want to save people? Or did he just want them to like him.

He was really a coward. The aspiring young boy who wanted to be a warrior, and the shell of a man Reiner was today are essentially the same person. A coward. Reiner never really wanted to save the world. He didn’t even like fighting. It was all an outlet for Reiner to reach out and try to fill the void that seemed to be his heart.

“Reiner” …. Huh? Reiner looked around, confused.

“Hey. Hey Reiner we are here”. Reiner quickly realized he was lost in his thoughts again and looked down at Gabi. Apparently they reached their destination without Reiner even realizing it.

The mess hall was not anything special, just a big, spacious room packed with people. The atmosphere was very stuffy, causing Reiner to sweat a little. Eyeing an empty table, Gabi dragged Falco along with her at mach speed. Udo and Zofia quickly followed suit.

“Wow! This food looks really good. Don’tcha think Falco!” Gabi beamed. Her face got awfully close to Falco’s. “I can actually tell these are supposed to be eggs this time!”.

“Yeah…” Falco followed. His face was red which made Reiner smirk just a little. It was totally obvious how Falco felt about Gabi but he happened to be in love with the densest person in the world.

Falco was fixated on Gabi for a while until he bit into his own food, which quickly changed his embarrassed attitude. Just like Gabi, it seemed he greatly enjoyed his food as well.

“Whoahhhhh” he screamed. A little over the top, but it just goes to show how little good food Eldians really got to eat. It seemed like all four of them started to gobble up their meals.

Reiner glanced up at the kitchen. Although it was far away he could recognize the Marleyans working in the kitchen. Unlike many others, those cooks in particular seemed to really like the innocent but impressionable warrior candidates, so it seemed they put extra care in preparing their breakfasts. How adorable.

The blonde man then looked down at his own plate, not having been touched at all. Eggs and hash browns, a decent meal. However when Reiner took a bite into his own eggs he soon realized he tasted absolutely nothing. Not really surprising, since as long as he can remember, Reiner hasn’t enjoyed a single meal. To be honest, eating, while enjoyable to seemingly everyone else, became a chore to him. Without a sense of taste, why even bother?

Rather than devour his food like a child, Reiner scarcely took bites while watching the warrior candidates chow down their own food.

They’re quite loud. Reiner thought. He just now realized how loud the mess hall really was. After all, there were hundreds of tightly packed bodies in an open room, all talking to each other, some screaming, some whispering. It made no difference, as it was all one big, echoing noise to Reiner. He hasn’t eaten like this, or sat down in such a crowded room in a long time. Reiner would rather eat alone in his messy apartment, away from the overwhelming noise. To eat so closely to everyone else reminded him of…

“Hey stop stealing my food!”

Reiner quickly snapped out of his mind once more. He has to stop doing that. Udo was almost screaming. “It’s not my fault you already scarfed down your entire plate”

“Well give it to me anyways! I need it more than you dumbass” Gabi exclaimed. “In order to be the best warrior in need as much delicious fuel as I can get!”.

“Gabi stop it! You can have some of mine instead” Falco pleaded, once again trying to break up a scuffle.

“But his looks so delicious!” Gabi responded. It did not seem like she would give up after she set her mind on stealing Udo’s food.

Reiner stopped listening to them bicker. Rather, he couldn’t hear them. The noise of the mess hall seemed to overwhelm him, engulfing him in sound. Reiner started sweating profusely, his mouth becoming dry. He could feel his own throat closing, and his hands started to shake. What was happening to him???

And then Reiner blinked.

The three struggling warriors in front of him seemingly transformed into new people. Sasha was trying to steal Connie’s food, with Jean trying to stop them as best as he could. He was not successful, as Sasha elbowed him in his face. Behind them Reiner could see Mikasa sitting in silence, but he noticed a small smirk on her face, perhaps she was amused? Reiner realized where he was. He was in the Survey Corps mess hall, eating with his Friends. Friends? No they were soldiers, not his friends. They didn’t mean anything to him, but why was his heart beating so fast, why was his breath getting so short. Apparently Reiner dropped his fork, because as soon as it hit the table and his eggs splattered onto the table, Reiner was suddenly back in Marley, not Paradis. The four stopped in their amusement and turned their attention to Reiner. Also, without realizing why, Reiner apparently was standing.

Apparently, Reiner exclaimed “Sorry, I have to go” and ran off like a child, leaving the four warrior candidates confused and worried.

Apparently, Reiner has forgotten nothing about his time on Paradis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself so I wrote another chapter so soon. This is my first fic so it's so refreshing to write! If you have not realized yet, this story will be mainly a Reiner POV, so do not get worried that the story will be Reiner heavy for awhile. I want to set some things up before our favorite Eren shows up!


	3. Empty

_What the hell am I doing_?

Reiner continued to run out of the mess hall with no end goal in mind. He couldn’t stop shaking. With every step Reiner took, his breath became shorter and shorter. He began to weave his way between the crowds of fellow Eldians who are all trying to enjoy their weekend. Reiner managed to bump into a couple people, even knocking someone over, yet he didn’t look back. He couldn’t. He couldn’t afford to let himself think for even a moment. If Reiner allowed himself to think, he would feel regret. Then shame. Then sadness. Then he would feel even more empty than he already was, and Reiner couldn’t have that. 

Almost as if it was instinct, Reiner noticed that he was running towards his lonesome apartment. 

_My bed ._ Reiner thought. If only he can make it back to his bed. Then he won’t have to think, to remember. He can just rest.

It was only 10 in the morning by the time Reiner made it to the front door of his apartment. The wooden door creaked open as Reiner began walking into his home. Stepping around the vast amount of trash that littered his floor was too much of a task for Reiner. He just walked through the trash. He wouldn’t let himself think at all. Taking off his clothes or even his military boots was too daunting of a task. It simply did not matter. Reiner made his way slowly to his room, even though he rushed so much to get there. It was as if Reiner was not even alive anymore, he was simply too exhausted to even pretend to be human. Essentially falling onto his bed, it was not a surprise that Reiner almost instantly drifted off to sleep. It was as if the world slowly faded to black around him, akin to an abyss. Reiner was quickly falling into the black void that was sleep. However daunting that image would be to anyone else, it was as if the blonde man embraced it.

Reiner barely ever dreamed, yet this time it was as if he was slightly aware that he was dreaming. The blonde could make out a single set of eyes. Emerald eyes that were seemingly ablaze, burning with passion. The shade of emerald shined brightly, yet had a dark feeling to them. Perhaps it was warmth? Comfort? They were so mysterious, as if one could lose themselves in them if they stared for too long. Reiner wondered how that set of eyes viewed the world. Were they able to see him? What did those eyes think of him? For some reason, Reiner welcomed the emerald glare. He felt somewhat at ease, relaxed even. A feeling that is so foreign to Reiner, as if he never felt calm in his life. Yet in this moment, Reiner felt tranquil, almost wanting to embrace that feeling the gaze left with him. Reiner wanted to look at those eyes forever, as they were so captivating. Yet as time passed, it seemed the mysterious pair of eyes began to leave Reiner, slowly fading into the black abyss. Reiner was no longer dreaming. Reiner felt truly empty for the first time in his life.

It seemed impossible, but Reiner slept for almost an entire day. By the time he woke up, the sun was beginning to rise up again. Even though Reiner slept for so long, it wasn’t as if he had any energy now. 

The week has started, and although Marley was in a time of peace, Reiner still had responsibilities. Dragging himself out of bed was even harder than the previous day, yet Reiner was able to somehow haul himself to Headquarters. 

Reiner started out every weekday the same, getting chewed out by the Marley brass for his failure that was the Paradis infiltration. Initially, he felt shame, and especially regret. He used to beat himself up everyday over the fact that Annie, Bertholdt, and Marcel never got to set another foot in their homeland. Yet this time, it was slightly different. The General’s and Commander’s harsh words and insults seemed to not even reach his ears. Not that he couldn’t hear, he could, but their words did not affect him whatsoever. He wished they would just shut up and feed him to a warrior candidate already. 

After what felt like hours of meaningless meetings and extra insults on Reiner's entire being, the warriors were let off to go about their other duties. Reiner walked into the break room to find one Pieck Finger sitting upright. She looked very uncomfortable, as she was probably not used to it yet. She looked just as tired and as apathetic as ever, and her flowing black hair was borderline covering her eyes. 

“Hello Reiner. How are you doing?” Pieck paused as she studied Reiner's face. “Hey… it seems like the bags under your eyes are starting to let up”. 

She must have noticed that Reiner slept for almost 24 fucking hours. Go figure. Reiner sighed before replying.

“Never felt better”

An obvious lie, but Pieck knew better than to continue their seemingly one sided conversation. Pieck would always notice things like that, because as aloof as she seems, Pieck was probably one of the smartest people in Marley. But it did not take a genius like Pieck to notice Reiner's deteriorating form. Seemingly everyone noticed, especially those who have seen Reiner before the Paradis mission.

Gabi and the others never met Reiner until after he fully returned from his failed mission. Of course they wouldn’t know how Reiner used to be much different than he was now. When Reiner briefly returned after stealing Ymir from the walls, Reiner was a clean shaven, muscular man, with most of his mind still intact. His mental health was deteriorating, but it wasn’t until Reiner was nearly blown up by his _friends_ in the Survey Corps until he started to crack. When he realized that his second failure led to him losing Bertholdt was the final straw. 

In the 4 years after returning from his ultimate failure, Reiner spiraled down into the shell of a man he was today. He lost so much weight, and his face was an unshaven mess. Reiner's eyes looked almost soulless, coupled with the large bags that would lie underneath Reiner's hazel pupils. He became a shell of a man that could barely even look at himself. It seems however, that a certain someone was drilling holes in Reiner’s skull at the current moment. 

Reiner barely noticed that another sat at the table beside Pieck. Of course, it was none other than Porco Galliard.

Not that Reiner hated Porco, but he just couldn’t stand to look at him in the eyes. It was due to a multitude of reasons that Reiner would rather not think about. But to put it simply, seeing Porco’s familiar face made Reiner remember a lot of memories he would rather forget. Reiner could tell from his body posture that Porco tensed up at the sight of him. In return Reiner shifted his gaze away from Porco. It is rather childish, but Reiner truly cannot bring himself to meet Porco face to face. Porco shifted his weight towards Reiner before speaking. 

“Why the hell did I have to listen to four whiny voices constantly ask me about you? Apparently you ran off yesterday? Reiner tried to interject, but it seemed Porco was not done barraging Reiner with questions.

“The hell was that for? What’s wrong with you? Are you not supposed to watch over those brats?”.

“Oh yeah” Reiner paused. He completely forgot about his little escapade. “I had something urgent to do”. 

Another blatant lie. 

“Well next time why don’t you at least tell them that you have to leave” Porco scoffed.

“Yeah…” 

Reiner had nothing else to say about the incident which was seemingly little. Either that was good enough for Porco or he simply didn’t care. However, Reiner can still feel Porco’s glare piercing directly into his skull. Porco always watched Reiner intensely, hoping Reiner would make a mistake or show some kind of weakness. It was likely due to his pride, wanting to find some kind of dirt on Reiner so he can feel superior. Not that Reiner cared in the slightest. 

The rest of the day was like a blur to Reiner. He was always tasked with meaningless things until it was time to watch over the warrior candidates training. Reiner would keep his distance, and although the children worried for Reiner, they did not approach him. He wouldn’t let them. Reiner would leave Headquarters alone and return to his house alone. This cycle repeated for the rest of the week. The days would bleed into one another and Reiner felt as he was merely drifting from one place to another. The repetition of his life was inherently not difficult in the slightest, but it was so, so draining. By Friday, Reiner could barely even function. By the end of the day he could barely even make out the orders a Marleyan official gave to him.

“Go fetch me one of those crates from the supply room, you Devil! And make it quick!” He barked.

Reiner was unfazed by the remark, and proceeded to carry out his order. Why would one of the strongest warriors in the Marleyan military be fetching things? The blonde man had no idea. But it's not like it even matters. Nothing really matters to Reiner anymore.

As Reiner made his way into the supply room, the wooden door slowly creaked open, sending a shiver down Reiner's spine. The room was dark and musty, with only one small, barred window on the back wall, shining a miniscule amount of light into the room. There was a desk and some crates lined up against the leftmost wall. To the right there was nothing, except in the corner… 

was a gun rack. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading :) I already finished the next chapter (My favorite one so far) but i will upload it tomorrow. I think uploading daily will help my fic spread more maybe? I think it is better than just dumping whenever I finish a chapter. If any of you readers have friends or family that might like this type of story, maybe suggest this to them. It’s not for ego or anything but I just want as many people to read and enjoy my story lol.


	4. Emerald

It was as if something possessed Reiner in that moment, and it was as if everything else in the room disappeared. Everything besides him, and the rifle that his hazel eyes were seemingly glued to. Every single footstep Reiner would take echoed throughout the room and would reverberate in his own head. 

Tap

Tap

Tap

Tap

Reiner slowly made his way to the gun rack and slowly grabbed one of the standard rifles, their silver barrels glistening in the stray beams of sunlight that managed to come their way. Right next to the rack was a crate of ammunition. Bending over, Reiner picked up one, singular bullet. He wouldn’t be needing any more. 

The way Reiner routinely slung the rifle over his shoulder almost made it seem like Reiner had practiced that movement a dozen times. In reality, Reiner had practiced this simple movement thousands of times in the past, when he was still a warrior candidate. Never would a young Reiner have anticipated that he would be using his rifle skills on himself though. 

Reiner then walked over to the singular desk in the supply room and pulled out the chair from under it, and placed it in the center of the room. His arms moved almost mechanically, like he wasn’t even thinking. He wasn’t thinking. Reiner’s legs marched their way towards the chair as if Reiner wasn’t reconsidering his decision. He wasn’t going to reconsider.

Choosing to sit down was honestly the hardest part of this whole ordeal. Reiner knew as soon as he steeled himself to sit down in that chair, his fate was sealed. Yet by the time he could actually reconsider, he was already in a seated position. Unslinging the gun from his shoulder, Reiner started to inspect the rifle to make sure it even worked. It seemed ok, and Reiner began to load a single bullet into the magazine.

“Reiner”

The sudden voice made Reiner wince, but he knew it wasn’t real. Reiner knew whose voice that belonged to. 

“No matter what I do, I always end up like this”.

Reiner swiftly loaded the magazine into the chamber.

“I want to become strong like you Reiner” 

Reiner paused. This voice… Eren’s voice… why was he remembering this moment he shared with him. It didn’t matter anymore. Reiner cocked back the bolt handle then quickly cocked it back. 

“If I continue like this, if I stay this weak I’ll end up dead, just like Jean said”

The rifle felt so natural in his hands, and Reiner realized his hands stopped trembling and shaking minutes ago.

“Is this going to end with me achieving absolutely nothing?” 

Reiner remembered how Eren was crying, covered in dirt and bruises from his failure during ODM training. Reiner felt so bad at the time, as he wanted to reach out to Eren and hug him. He didn’t have the courage, but Reiner managed to say a few words to Eren instead.

Reiner looked up at the ceiling. What did he say to Eren that day? Oh yeah…

“Just do… what you have to do” 

Reiner felt that there was more to it, oh yes, now he is really starting to remember. 

“ _Just Keep Moving Forward_ ”

The barrel and muzzle of the rifle felt so cold in Reiners mouth. He could feel his saliva build up around it. Reiner didn’t even flinch at the cold touch. He felt so numb. It didn’t matter anymore. 

Eren’s voice once again clouded Reiner’s head.

“Ah. Yeah. That’s right. I just have to keep going.” 

Reiner began to close his eyes. He remembered stretching out his hand to Eren.

“You’re going to eliminate every single titan until there are none left. Right? I know you can do it. Eren.”

Reiner remembered the feeling of helping Eren up, the feeling of holding his hand. 

“Ah. It all makes sense now.” Reiner thought to himself, as it was rather hard to say it out loud with a barrel in his mouth.

_That was the first time I ever looked Eren in the eyes._

Those eyes in Reiner’s dream, those alluring emerald eyes, were _Erens_. 

As Reiner wrapped his finger around the trigger, the world around him continued to darken. It was as if the black abyss was trying to pull Reiner down with it, as it continued to guide Reiner's finger. As the world around him continued to grow even darker, Reiner knew that pulling the trigger would lead to an eternal rest. An eternal rest where Reiner will never have to think again. An eternal rest where Reiner can forget everything. At this very moment, Reiner seemingly had no regrets. Rather, he was too tired, too empty to have any. Except for one. 

Although Reiner would never admit it, from the bottom of his heart, he truly wanted to see Eren’s eyes one last time.

  
  


*BANG*

  
  


A loud noise reverberated throughout the dark, musty supply room. It obviously did not come from Reiner, as he was still alive to hear it. The brief calm that possessed Reiner instantly evaporated, as the loud bang startled him to an absurd degree. He felt his hands start to shake once more and Reiner started to feel his acid reflux kick in. He suddenly spat out the barrel from his mouth, a single bead of spit still connecting Reiner's mouth to the muzzle. One could almost see the big, heavy breaths Reiner took, as he panted like he just ran a marathon. For as calm as Reiner just was, the man sitting in the center of the room was now a complete mess. After almost dropping the rifle due to how sweaty his shaky hands have become, Reiner attempted to recollect himself. He was curious as to the origins of the sudden sound that supposedly saved his life. However, as the blond tried to stand, he realized that his legs were wobbling way too much for that to ever happen. Reiner irrationally looked around the supply room, using his eyes to spot the origin. After glancing up at the one light source, Reiner squinted. Behind the barred window was a figure Reiner could barely distinguish, until it opened its mouth.

“Fuck” exclaimed Falco. Vulgar words for such an innocent boy. He seemed to be in distress. Apparently he slammed his fist against the back wall in anger. Apparently that single action was the source of the loud bang that saved Reiner's life. His face displayed a very distraught and irritated look. “At this rate… there’s no way”.

Reiner was shocked. _What on earth was Falco doing here?_

By looking real hard, Reiner can tell tears were starting to form around the small boy’s eyes.

“At this rate, I will never succeed.” Falco took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, but to no avail. “Gabi will inherit the Armored Titan. I need to save her”.

After hearing this remark, Reiner remembered watching Falco struggle in today's training. At the rate he was going Gabi really will inherit Reiner’s Armored titan. Reiner thought back to a distant memory, where he told Falco that he needed to step up in order to protect Gabi from the cruel fate that all shifters held. It seemed Falco never gave up on his goal. Reiner wanted to speak up to Falco but the blonde boy kept talking to himself.

“And I can’t even find Reiner. I really wish there was someone I can talk to about all this”. 

Seeing that lost, empty look in Falco’s eyes made something within Reiner snap. 

_That’s right, I need to be there for him, for the others as well._

How could Reiner forget? The warrior candidates… no. They had names. 

Gabi, Udo, Zofia, and Falco needed him. 

He needed to be there to help guide them all. No matter how much Reiner felt that he did not deserve their admiration, he still needed to be strong. No matter how unwilling he was to receive their affection, Reiner still needed to be supportive. No matter how much Reiner felt that he could never be worthwhile enough to reciprocate their love, he still needed to be brave. 

No matter what, Reiner Braun needed to live. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is the last time I post more than once a day, I promise. I just was so proud of this chapter and had so much fun writing it I couldn't wait. Anyways I hoped you enjoy it. If there was anything you really liked or disliked make sure to comment it. Also if you know anyone who would like this story feel free to share it with them :)


	5. Excitement

With his new found courage and strength, Reiner stood up to try and meet up with Falco. He set the rifle down and did not look back. He mustn’t cave in, no matter how tempting the abyss can be. Reiner began to work himself up to call out to Falco when-

“Oh yeah!” Falco exclaimed. Once again he cuts off Reiner before he can even speak a word. “Maybe I can go talk to that Eren guy from earlier! He seemed super nice!”.

The words pierced Reiner’s heart just as if the rifle behind him discharged by accident. Time seemingly stopped once again as that single word left the young boy’s mouth. He could feel his brow starting to sweat once again. Reiner looked down at his feet in disbelief. It was almost as if he was dreaming again. Why would Falco be saying Eren's name???

After a brief pause Reiner could only manage a single whisper.

“E-Eren?”

Reiner realized that he was uttering that man's name out loud, yet he should be trying to get Falco’s attention. By the time Reiner glanced back up towards the window, Falco was gone. It only took mere seconds to destroy Reiner’s new found strength entirely. He began to feel his legs weaken once more, wanting to crumple underneath him. Reiner was about to fall on his ass once again, but he stopped himself. After leaning his hand against the chair for support, Reiner finally managed to take in a deep breath. 

_ No. It has to be a coincidence. Eren is not THAT uncommon of a name.  _

Reiner cleared his thoughts and quickly left the room. Why was he even there in the first place? It did not matter, he had to follow Falco to clear the small, but alluring doubt that plagued Reiner's mind. 

One could see the placement of the sun in the clear Liberio sky and estimate that it was around 6 p.m. The sun was beginning to set, tinging the sky in red and pink hues. It was not that late of a time, but the streets were definitely less crowded. It was almost eerie how quickly the bustling streets of Liberio can turn into large, empty corridors as day turns to night. Luckily for Reiner, there were still a decent amount of people out and about. Unfortunately for Reiner, each and every one of them were eyeing daggers at Reiner as he continuously followed Falco at a distance. Reiner was not even discrete about it. He almost looked like a stalker with how he was going about tailing the warrior candidate.

Even Reiner was aware of the foolishness of his actions right now. He was really ducking and weaving his way through people while using them as cover. Not that Falco was the most observant boy in the world, but Reiner did not want to get caught spying by the one person he was spying on. Spying? Why was he doing something so weird? Who wouldn’t think it's weird that a man in his early twenties was following around a 12 year old boy. This was something Reiner would have done when he was a teenager. Reiner chuckled at the thought. In fact, he remembered spying on Historia with some of his frien-

Reiner cut the thought out of his mind immediately. Right. When he was a teenager he was still  _ there. _

Reiner began to pick up his pace. He slowly inched his way closer to Falco, as he needed to stop this charade. He could easily catch up to Falco whenever he wanted. It is not like Falco was running or anything. 

_ Why am I going about this in such a roundabout way? _ Reiner thought. Seriously, why can’t he just catch up to Falco and meet this mysterious “Eren” together.

Reiner knew the reason, he just couldn’t help it. Reiner was trembling at the thought of Falco potentially meeting the one person who was plaguing his thoughts. His memories. 

Why was Reiner shaking? Why was he sweating bullets? Why was his heart beating so fast that it felt as if it would burst out of his chest?

Obviously it was fear, and nervousness. After all, Eren Yeager was the most wanted man in the world. He was a threat that could bring destruction to the entire world. A man whose last words to Reiner being that he would make sure Reiner would suffer greatly before he killed him. Anyone would be utterly terrified at the thought of meeting the worst person in the world once again. 

But not Reiner.

Sure, he was scared, terrified even. After all, just 10 minutes ago Reiner found the resolve to live just a little bit longer. He couldn’t die a painful death full of suffering. Not yet. He had to protect Falco and the others. What if Falco got hurt when he meets up with this potential Eren? Obviously Reiner could not let that happen. Yet, in the back of his mind, behind the layer and layers of fear, worry, and doubt, Reiner felt  _ excitement.  _

Reiner was shocked when Falco suddenly changed directions. He noticed Falco was starting to head towards a lonesome bench in the middle of a tiny plaza, just outside of a hospital. Behind the bench, a little to the left, was a large, intimidating wooden door.

As Reiner got closer, he realized that there was actually a person sitting at the bench that Falco was approaching. Reiner stopped pursuing for a moment and studied the man sitting down from a distance. He did not want to make a fool of himself if his stupid assumption was wrong. Besides, he could obviously tell it wasn’t Eren from a mile away.

The man had long, flowing hair that dropped way below his shoulders. The shade of the trees around the bench made it hard to distinguish the hair color, but it seemed more black than the short, brown hair Reiner remembered Eren having. Reiner also noticed that there was a wooden crutch leaning against the bench. Ah. The hunched over man was missing a leg. After considering where they were it suddenly clicked to Reiner that Falco was referring to a soldier, one likely wounded in the Mid-East war. They were next to a hospital for god's sake. How could Reiner be so stupid, so delusional? 

Reiner was close enough to slightly eavesdrop on their conversation by hiding between two unfortunate teenagers. He was already spying, so why not eavesdrop? 

Reiner only really had to hear the initial greeting to get the picture. He could make out Falco's voice.

“Hello Mr. Kruger!”

Ah. There it was. That confirms it. This man wasn’t Eren. Reiner could feel his hands stop shaking. 

Reiner turned around to walk off, as he finally started to calm down once more. Yet the doubt in his mind wouldn’t fully go away. As Reiner took a couple steps in the opposite direction, his mind started drifting until he remembered.

_ His eyes. _

Reiner swiveled around abruptly. He still had to check his eyes. 

_ No! What am I even thinking! _

The sudden thought of checking the man's eyes was discarded, but it allowed Reiner to consider more possibilities. 

Eren could have just grown out his hair. And he is a fucking shifter, obviously the missing leg is not concrete proof. It can still be him. And his name! Why did Reiner not consider he was using a fake name? It was all so obvious that Reiner wanted to punch himself. Besides, Reiner still needs to check up on Falco. He can’t just walk off. However, before he could take another step closer he was suddenly greeted by a tall, blonde, scruffy man. 

Zeke, however large of a man he is, was quite sneaky. Somehow, he managed to get in front of Reiner without him even noticing. His eyes were hidden behind the glare of his tacky, large glasses. He blocked his path, yet his body was facing in Falco’s direction. Was Zeke even looking at him?

“Yo Reiner! How have you been” Zeke boomed. Despite his friendly demeanor, Reiner always got the impression that Zeke was faking it, as if he felt a certain indifference towards everyone and everything. Very mysterious. Reiner coughed once before responding.

“I could be better. But I am alright” Not necessarily a lie, but Reiner would rather not be chit-chatting with Zeke at the moment. 

“Well that's good” Zeke exclaimed. “I got an earful from a Marleyan official who was quite mad at you for running off just now. Well, not that I don’t blame you”. Zeke gave a few forced chuckles before responding.

“You don’t have to worry, I already sent Colt to do the officials bidding”. Zeke chuckled again, this time a little more genuine. Poor Colt. 

Anyways, Reiner was worried about way more important things to be even remotely concerned about a stupid Marleyan official. 

Reiner was sneaking multiple glances in Falco’s direction, hoping something would happen to give him an excuse to leave Zeke.

Zeke cleared his throat, almost exaggerating it to an absurd degree. Reiner glanced back at Zeke, noticing that he wasn’t even looking at him anymore. Reiner could now see past the tacky glasses glare and see Zeke’s grey eyes trained on something to his right. He was obviously staring at Falco’s meeting with Mr. Kruger. He glanced back at Reiner before clearing his throat again.

“Ahem! Anyways… I came to inform you that all warriors are to immediately report to Headquarters for a meeting. Higher ups stated that attendance was mandatory.”

Oh great, another meeting. Whatever, Reiner just needed a minute to make sure Falco was safe. As Reiner began to excuse himself he was immediately interrupted.

“There is no time for chit chatting with Falco. Come on, let us report back at Headquarters”.

Reiner cleared his own throat before responding. He has never seen Zeke this assertive. Usually he was more relaxed and even carefree at times, even showing up late to meetings. Why was he in such a rush?

“Zeke, I just want to go check up on Falco for a se-”

“No. As Marley’s War Chief I order you to follow me immediately. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir” Reiner quickly responded. 

As they both walked off towards Headquarters, Reiner looked back behind his shoulders. He saw Falco runoff, away from the soldier on the bench. 

_ Good. At least Falco is safe _ .

After watching Falco run off, Reiner noticed that Falco was holding something in his hands. It was faint, but Reiner was sure that Falco was holding a letter in his hands. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading! Since these chapters are quite short compared to other works (How on Earth can they write so much) I find myself posting more often than I thought. I will probably post chapter 6 tomorrow, but I think I will definitely slow down my pace a little with exams coming up. Make sure to comment if you especially liked anything as always.


	6. Meeting

Before Reiner knew it, he was already seated at a long, oval table. It was dull, but was definitely high quality. The table was very long, long enough to seat over 20 Marleyan officials and the additional 5 Eldian warrior and warrior candidates in the room. The meeting room was dimly lit, but Reiner could tell pretty much everyone of importance was here. Across from him sat Pieck and Porco, who were seated a little more closer together than normal. Next to Reiner sat Colt, who looked rigid and stiff even though all he did in these meetings was listen. Colt looked just like his younger brother, albeit a little older. Blonde and innocent, but still determined to be the best warrior he could be. Again, Reiner is reminded of his youth, and how he used to be. These were irrelevant thoughts, but the memories Reiner had of how he used to be so much more cheerful, more happy… it made his heart sink a tiny bit. 

Colt, albeit a skilled warrior candidate, was still just a candidate. Yet he is allowed to sit in some meetings. Due to his presence, Reiner gathered that the meeting was not anything too special, or at least nothing top secret. As Reiner finished looking around the room, he turned over to Zeke to ask him what the hell this sudden meeting was even about. To his surprise, Zeke was nowhere to be seen. His seat was empty, but Reiner must have sworn he sat down with him. 

_ Damn that scruffy bastard, he must have gone off to the bathroom or something. _

“Dammit Reiner. Where on Earth is Zeke”. Reiner turned around and looked in the direction of the intimidating, low voice that called him.

“I’m sorry Commander Magath. He was just here until a moment ago”.

Commander Magath’s stone cold face remained unfazed. He was obviously annoyed, but considering it was Zeke, he was not surprised. Zeke held within him a special power that no other warrior could replicate. It was due to that special power that Zeke was able to keep his uncaring attitude most of the time. Compared to any other Eldian, Zeke had a bit more freedom to do as he pleased. Yet nobody should try and test their luck with Commander Magath, even Zeke knew that. 

Commander Magath stopped glaring at Reiner and began shuffling paperwork in preparation to start the meeting, which struck Reiner as odd, since usually someone else was in charge of that. Reiner also noticed that nobody sat in the chair at the end of the table, a spot usually reserved for Commander Magath or General Calvi. Before Reiner could continue pondering at the seats vacantness Commander Magath stood up. Apparently he would also be starting the meeting as well.

“Everyone, I understand that today’s meeting is of rather short notice but it is important that you are all informed about a potential upcoming event. I would like to introduce you to Willy Tybur, head of the Tybur family.”

With that, the entire room became filled with murmurs. Nobody even tried to be discrete as the Tybur name brought about much room for discussion.

“What possibly could a dirty Eldian bring us all here for?”

“Silence, don’t you know the Tyburs hold a lot of political power!”

“Why are the filthy warriors in here with us, on top of another Eldian! What rubbish!”

Reiner has never personally met Willy Tybur, as most haven’t even seen him before. But anybody in the military knows that the Tybur family secretly influences the nation’s military just as much as it does the political world. The murmurs began to die down as a tall man entered the room. Following him were two giant guards, who donned their own personal uniform. Quite tacky. As Reiner analyzed his face, he realized he was quite handsome. Having luscious, flowing blond hair and a well kept face, Willy was a man that walked with confidence, or so it seemed. Reiner could tell that he was nervous, but by the time he began speaking, he already calmed himself. Impressive. 

“Thank you all for coming here tonight after such short notice, I humbly give my dearest thanks.” Willy then took a bow before continuing. 

“I gathered you all here today to propose an event that will take place in Liberio square in 6 months. Essentially, I will be presenting a speech to the entire world as they gather in the square. I have already begun negotiations with several world leaders and brought them all aboard. I implore you all to do the same.” 

Ah, so it was one of  _ those _ meetings. Everyone knew how much influence Willy Tybur already had. Since General Calvi is not here, it is likely that he is already on board with Tybur’s plan. It wasn’t really a proposition, but more of an order. However, Reiner did not really care much for whatever Marley wants to do with its tax dollars. Besides, he had other things to think about. Especially… 

_ Why on earth is Zeke acting so weird? _

Not only has he disappeared suddenly, but lately, he has been disappearing more and more. It’s not like Reiner ever reports him, as he could care less about what Zeke does in his free time, but it still struck Reiner as odd. Now that Reiner thinks about it, he really doesn’t care about a lot of things. Anyways, Reiner also pondered on Zeke’s actions earlier today. He never showed any interest in the warrior candidates besides Colt, so why was he glancing over at Falco earlier? Could it mean he cares for Falco? Probably not, so he must have been interested in the soldier Falco was talking to. If he was, then why was he so important that he had to prevent Reiner from meeting with him. Zeke had no relation to Eren right? Eren?

_ No. I’ve already been over this. That soldier wasn’t Eren. Besides, if he really was Eren, wouldn’t Zeke have immediately attacked him? _

Reiner’s thoughts were interrupted by doors swinging open. Everyone’s heads turned quickly to see an oblivious Zeke stumble into the meeting room.

“Oh sorry, was I missing something?” Zeke abruptly said. Magath immediately stood up, as he was obviously furious.

“ZEKE YEAGER!!!” Commander Magath screamed. “HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU 20 MINUTES LATE TO THE MEETING” Oh he was definitely furious.

“Sorry sir, I was taking a shit” Zeke exclaimed. His tone was completely flat, like he didn’t even see anything wrong with the current situation. Magath looked as if he was going to burst.

“Now now Theo, it’s quite alright,” Tybur exclaimed. He seemed like he was almost going to laugh even though his presentation was rudely interrupted. Tybur’s voice really was soothing. At the sound of Tybur’s voice, Magath seemed to calm down just a little. After a brief pause, Commander Magath sat down almost as quickly as he stood up.

The entire situation was pretty comedic, as such a sudden interruption during a very boring meeting was well timed enough. Even some of the stoic Marleyan officials smirked at the exchange. After all, Commander Magath called Zeke Yeager by his full name like he was his paren- wait.

Zeke  _ Yeager _ ?

Reiner almost stood up himself. How was he so forgetful these days? He remembered seeing some reports months ago stating that Zeke was Eren’s half brother. Reiner even remembered Eren talking to Reiner about his father Grisha once, something he barely shared with anyone. At the time, Reiner felt touched that Eren would share something so private with him. 

It all started to make sense… sort of. Reiner’s brain was moving insanely fast, trying to process everything at once. 

The story so far, no, this string of theories that Reiner’s head was concocting would only make sense if that soldier that sat with Falco earlier was Eren. Zeke being Eren’s brother would explain their relation, and why Zeke tried to prevent Reiner from meeting him. Wait.. did it really answer everything? 

Eren was still the world’s number one enemy. Eren was still the biggest threat to Marley, a country that Zeke was extremely loyal too, right? Despite his world view, Zeke is the most loyal warrior out of any Eldian. Ever. He even turned in his Eldian Restorationist parents, including Grisha, to the authorities when he was a child. So clearly even family wouldn’t interfere with Zeke’s devotion to Marley. It didn’t make any sense. All this thinking made Reiner doubt everything more, as he had nothing concrete to ease his nerves, nothing to ease his excitement. 

The rest of the meeting only took an hour, but for Reiner it felt like years. After finally being free to do as he pleased, Reiner set off for his lonesome apartment yet again. To return home after a long week’s work, and fall asleep in his spacious, but empty bed. To repeat what he had always been doing for the last few months, with no deviation. 

Except he didn’t. 

This time, Reiner sprinted towards the bench outside the hospital, the complete opposite direction of his home. Reiner ran and ran, until finally, he was back where he was only a couple hours ago. The sun had already set, and the streets were empty. The bench, to Reiner’s surprise, was also completely empty. 

Any normal person would simply curse their luck and return home, discarding their delusions from earlier. 

Reiner Braun wasn’t a normal person.

He couldn’t drop this tight feeling in his chest. Reiner, for whatever reason, could not stop trembling. After running so much it was natural that Reiner was out of breath, and Reiner slowly walked over to the bench to sit down. Reiner essentially melted into the seat, slumping into the wooden grooves. He was far too tired to sit upright. 

For over twenty minutes, Reiner was slumped in a random bench, at a random time. Except this bench wasn’t random. It was a single beacon of hope, a single lead to this mystery that plagued Reiner’s mind. But what was Reiner hopeful about? It was obvious, but Reiner wouldn’t admit it to himself.

Looking around, Reiner watched the singular bulb in the lamp post flicker as it tried its best to dimly illuminate the area around it. The plaza really was tiny, with only the lamp post, the bench, and a few oak trees occupying the small space. It was likely a breathing space for the countless traumatized soldiers who resided in the hospital behind Reiner. Reiner wanted to get up and go home countless times, but he couldn’t stop watching the flickering lightbulb in front of him. Watching the light blink in front of his hazel eyes really was enamoring. With each glimmer of light Reiner slowly realized the world was becoming darker around him. Reiner was gradually falling asleep. Again, the abyss would taunt Reiner with its quiet calmness. Reiner almost accepted the offer, if not for the sudden sound of a door slowly creaking open. 

Reiner’s eyes shot open, surprised he almost let himself fall asleep in the open. Reiner looked around the small plaza to locate the door he just heard, but to no avail. It wasn’t until he heard the door close that he figured out it’s location. As it turns out, the door was right behind him, a little to his right. Again, how could he forget the big wooden door right next to the bench? He saw it earlier when he was spying on Falco. How else would the hospital patients even get out here? 

Before Reiner could berate himself for his stupidity once again, his thoughts were silenced by a haunting sound. It was the eerie tapping of wood on cement. Without even turning around Reiner knew it was the sound of a crutch. Reiner’s hazel eyes remained trained on the lamp post in front of him, as he was too tense to look even a millimeter to the right of him. 

Tap

Click

Tap

Click

The alternating sounds of feet tapping and wood clicking against the concrete was way too much for Reiner to handle, but he still couldn’t bear to look at the source of those sounds. Reiner’s brain once again goes into light speed thinking of any reason whatsoever as to how the person approaching him could not be the man he is thinking of. 

_ Yeah. Yeah that’s right, crutches are not that uncommon for soldiers. It could b- _

“Hey”

Reiner froze at the sound of that voice. That single word must have been no louder than a whisper, yet it hit Reiner like a shout. He knew the voice was real this time. Eren Yeager was really standing right behind him.

“It’s been close to four years now… Reiner”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked this chapter! The pace at which I post new chapters will likely slow down, as I know if I keep trying to post daily, I will burn out. Be sure to share with anyone or comment your thoughts!


	7. Late

For two people who haven’t seen each other in almost four years, their initial interaction was surprisingly brief.

Reiner was at a complete loss of words, as his mouth was completely unable to form a single word, let alone a sentence. Eren’s voice reverberated throughout Reiner’s brain, making his head throb. His voice was so deep and sorrowful, completely lacking the fiery rage that once dominated every single word that would leave his mouth. The noises that came out of the depths of Eren’s soul sounded so different. So unusual. Was this even the same person that Reiner remembered so vividly? 

Reiner tried clearing his throat, feeling the lump in his neck refuse to go down. His lips were too dry to even crack open anymore. Reiner’s mouth was essentially sealed shut, almost like Eren ordered it too. What was happening to him? Reiner used to be so good at keeping his emotions in check. He used to be so good at bottling up his emotions every single day. Reiner used to be a pillar of strength, a  _ soldier _ that remained calm even when faced by man-eating titans. Yet after only nine words, Reiner just couldn’t bring himself to utter even a single word. After what felt like hours sitting still, Reiner still had not glanced over at the man standing right next to him. He was so terrified, excited, at what Eren was going to do next.

“Hey Reiner. Look at me.” 

The words left Eren as if they lacked any volume whatsoever, yet to Reiner, they seemed to coil around his brain and heart like jet black chains. Reiner had no choice in the matter. As if he was a mindless machine following orders, he quickly swiveled his blonde head to his right. Reiner’s face was immediately staring at Eren’s chest. 

_ Oh yeah. I am still sitting down. _

Even though Eren wore baggy, loose clothing, one could still tell that his chest was defined and hardened. Apparently, Eren hasn’t stopped working out, continuing to hone his physique. How was that even possible? How could he maintain this perfect form with only one leg? How did his body become so… tempting? Reiner didn’t even realize that he must have been staring at Eren’s chest for over a minute. He felt his face flush as he immediately looked up towards Eren’s face.

Almost instinctively, Reiner locked eyes with the man standing over him, wanting to see the emerald pupils that tormented Reiner’s thoughts for weeks. 

Reiner was completely and utterly disappointed. What stared back at him was a dull, washed out eye. That’s right. Eye.

Instead of being met with a fiery emerald gaze, Reiner was met with a grey, soulless stare. Reiner must have not noticed the large bandage wrapped around the left side of Eren’s face, completely covering his other eye. No. Should he even consider this lifeless, faded orb of nothingness an eye? The more Reiner looked deeper into Eren’s eye, the more disappointed Reiner felt. 

Upon closer inspection, Eren’s entire face was bland, lacking any type of emotion or passion. Just like Reiner, Eren possessed dark, round bags under his eye, suggesting he barely gets any decent sleep as well. Looking even lower, Reiner spotted that Eren’s face was an unkept mess, and the small amounts of facial hair made him seem like he was in his late twenties. He should be 19, turning 20 in March right?

_ Wait what the fuck? Why and how do I even know that? _

Attempting to clear his mind once again, Reiner struggled to regain what little composure he previously had. Reiner couldn’t help but feel absolutely terrified the more Eren stared at him. Apparently, Eren didn’t want to say anything to Reiner yet, as he continued to silently watch the man seated in front of him. Was Eren currently plotting something? He had too right? Maybe he was analyzing Reiner the same way he did him? Regardless, Reiner remained motionless, barely even managing to breathe. 

Reiner never actually prepared himself for what he would do if he were to ever encounter Eren again. He never actually anticipated that the man in front of him would be brave enough to sneak his way into the strongest country on the entire planet. 

The blonde man had no idea what Eren was capable of, and how far he was willing to go. Worst of all, Reiner was afraid how he himself would react to Eren’s actions. If Eren decided to torture and kill Reiner right out in the open, would Reiner even do anything to stop it? He made a promise to himself to continue living in order to protect the ones who care about him. But with Eren standing right in front of him, Reiner just didn’t know. If only it was anybody else. If only Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, or Sasha were the ones who towered over Reiner at this second. Hell, Reiner would rather have Levi Ackerman be the one opposing Reiner right now. At least then Reiner would have the composure to confront and attack them. At least then Reiner could die fighting. With Eren however, Reiner almost wanted to remain seated in place, letting Eren enact his revenge on him. After all, Reiner was the one who ruined Eren’s life. The least he could do is let Eren kill him.

Either way, Reiner knew he was quickly losing strength and conviction, and would need to make a decision soon. The two stared at each other for what felt like hours, and Reiner needed to say something. Anything. 

Reiner slowly pried open his dry lips and forced his throat to conjure a sound. Hopefully, those sounds would merge into words, and those words would form coherent sentences. 

“E… Ere-” 

Reiner quickly stopped his voice at the movement of Eren’s free hand. Eren’s arm was slowly rising up his side. Was he reaching out towards Reiner? The blonde flinched as Eren’s hand continued to rise past his face, and continued to soar until it reached Eren’s own lips. His hand leisurely formed a fist, and his pointer finger gently flexed out until it pointed towards the dark, Liberio sky. Reiner was going to look up, until he realized that Eren’s hand was covered in a liquid. 

Oh shit. 

Oh shit shit shit shit.

Horrified, Reiner watched Eren’s blood drip down onto the concrete floor. He was close enough to Reiner that some of his blood almost splashed onto Reiner’s leg. 

Drip

Drip

Drip

Reiner quickly gathered what Eren was trying to get across to him without the man uttering a single word. Eren was  _ ordering _ Reiner to shut up and listen to him, and Reiner agreed. He had too. 

“Reiner, you live in those apartments in Liberio square... right?”

Eren’s words shocked Reiner. Why is this the first thing Eren says to Reiner? How did he even know that? Not that it mattered, as Reiner needed to reply quickly. 

“Y-yes I do. I live in a-apartment 201. The sp-spare key is un-” Reiner was once again silenced by Eren.

“Good. Then let’s meet in your apartment in one hour.” Eren briefly paused before continuing, as if he was focused on something else. “I need to take care of  _ something  _ first”. 

What? Why on Earth did Eren want to go into Reiner’s apartment? What did Eren have to do? Was he going to hurt anyone? By the time Reiner could respond, Eren already began crutching away. Reiner could see his figure slowly start to darken and fade away as he distanced himself from the lone lamp post and it’s flickering light. With a sudden urgency, Reiner sprang up and reached out for Eren, wanting to ask him many things. Almost as if Eren could sense Reiner’s worry, he stopped moving and glazed over his shoulder. Once again Reiner was greeted by an icy cold, grey stare. It was faint, but Reiner could see the young man’s lips begin to move once more. 

“Do not even think about following me.”

With those final words, Eren was gone. Once again, Reiner was alone, standing in a dark, cramped plaza. For the hundredth time today, Reiner’s head whizzed and buzzed with hundreds or thoughts and questions. Except this time it was thousands. Yet they all revolved around a single, massive dilemma. What on Earth is Eren planning? 

Immediately, Reiner needed to reassure himself. If Eren were to transform and attack Marley, why would he do it right now? His threats were not empty, but Eren wasn’t an idiot. If Reiner really didn’t follow him right now, then there was a high certainty that Eren would hold back for now. But that begged the question again, what was Eren going off to do?

Reiner looked around, and eventually glanced up at the sky. It was of no surprise, still dark. Yet Reiner knew it was late, probably around 10 p.m. 10 p.m? That meant headquarters was still open for another 30 minutes. If Reiner ran, he could make it in time. It wasn’t too late. Reiner could still report his sighting of Eren Yeager, the nation’s number one enemy. Except Reiner was already taking steps in the opposite direction, towards his apartment. 

Reiner found himself staring at his front door, frustrated at his actions. What the hell was he doing? Reiner was breaking so many rules, so many laws, so many contingencies. Yet he calmly walked into his apartment. Reiner made his way past his living room, over the large piles of filth and trash, finding himself in front of his clock. 

10:12 p.m.

It wasn’t too late. 

Reiner continued his way into the depths of his apartment. He inched closer to his home phone, which had a direct line to headquarters. He could call right now, and someone would be there to listen. 

It wasn’t too late. 

Yet Reiner kept proceeding towards his real destination. He opened his closet door and pulled two things out. A pen and paper to fill out a report on his sighting of Eren Yeager? 

No.

Instead, Reiner pulled out a broom and some trash bags. 

For the first time in years, Reiner began cleaning his apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! I hoped you liked it. Feel free to like and comment and shar- oh god I sound like a youtuber.

**Author's Note:**

> This took a long time to write (A couple hours but hey it seems like a lot when you put off your schoolwork for your sudden inspiration!). Anyways it was a lot of fun. If you liked it I would appreciate a comment or two. If there is anything you think I wrote weird or any tips/ ideas, etc I'd love to at least hear them.


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